


I cant find the words to say...Goodbye

by Gal2Bie



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friendship, Homophobic Language, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-07-25 15:56:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20028430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gal2Bie/pseuds/Gal2Bie
Summary: Nicole Haught, the daughter of Micheal and Kate Haught. Nicole has a twin brother name Nicolas Haught, but he died in a car crashed when Nicole asked him to join her at the high school party. A drunk driver caused the accident. Their parent didnt allow them to go at the party that day, but the two still went there.After the accident, Micheal and Kate blames Nicole for everything. Nicole also blames herself about it. Thats the start of her life becomes hell.Waverly Earp the youngest of the Earp family. Very smart, called the Purgatory's nicest person. She is close with her 2nd sibling Wynonna. Her eldest sister Willa and dad died already when she's at the young age. So her and Wynonna left in the custody of their aunt Gus and uncle Curtis. They are raised so well thats why people in purgatory love them so much.Nicole, Wynonna and Waverly has been childhood friends. The trio are so inseperable, until that accident happen that changes everything.Will everything could go back, just like the old time? Or its really the end of everything for the trio?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a professional writer so please be good to me. 😂 I just want to release this concept in my head for so long. A lot of against. If its not your jam, well i wont encourage you to read it. I will try my best to give you all a good story. Please bare with me in my writing and english. I am not born as an english person, so expect alot of grammar errors. If anyone wants to proof read this and help me with this i would love to accept your help. Love you all! 😘

July 29, 2014

A car accident happened at the Purgatory road. Drunk truck driver collided with a black Toyota Innova with two teenagers inside. Police and ambulance responded to the incident.

"Sir, one of the teenager is still breathing but the other one is not. The rescue team are doing their best to pull them out of the car." An officer said to the sheriff as he arrives at the scene.

"Okay, what are their names? Did you contact their parents?" The sheriff ask as they walk towards the wreck cars.

"Yes sir! We contacted Mr and Mrs. Haught to inform them about the situation."

"Haught? You mean? Thats Nicole and Nicolas inside the car?"

"Yes, Sheriff Nedley." Confirmed by his deputy officer. They look at the scene and see that Nicole is being pulled out of the passenger side of the car. A stretcher is on standby ready to take the body. Sheriff Nedley cross the yellow line and get beside the rescuers.

"N-ni-nic.."

"Hey, hey..nicole, save your strength. We will get your brother." Nedley assured her before she passed out. The medical team quickly surrounds her and put an oxygen mask and strip her in the stretcher, ready to bring her at the hospital.

Nicole is the 1st one to send at the hospital. Mr and Mrs. Haught arrived at the scene. Few minutes later Nicolas has been pulled out of the car.

"How is he? How is my son?" Mr. Haught crossed the yellow line upon seeing his son being pulled out of the car and placed at the stretcher. 2 paramedic quickly asses the teenager.

"He has no pulse, sir. She's dead." Announced by the guy medic.

"Oh my God, NO! That cant be happening!" Kate Haught rushed to the side of the medic upon hearing him said that her son is dead. The paramedics tried to resusitate Nicolas, but he is unresponsive at all.

"Im really sorry maam." The guy paramedic apologise

"Time of death 10:45pm" his workmate announces. The other scribble on the paper. Then they cover the body of a white blanket and bring the body to the ambulance.

"Nooo! That cant be!...micheal...please tell them to bring him back..please..micheal." Kate is pleadinh her husband to do something for their son, but the man is in the state of shock too. Nicolas is the 1st one to come out of the twins. They both love their children but when Nicole come out as a lesbian, they only focused on Nicolas. He became their favorite child.

"I am very sorry Mr. and Mrs. Haught. My sincere Condolense." Nedley remove his hat, place it in his chest and slightly bowed his head in front of Micheal Haught who is hugging his crying wife.

"How...how did...this..happened?" Micheal finally able to speak, but his eyes are glued to the ambulance that is driving away with his dead son in it.

"Base on the report, a drunk driver tried to over take on the other side of the lane on a fast speed, but he didnt see the kids car coming from the other line, thats why he collieded with them. But sir, i think whats important now is your other child is in the hospital right now. She is alive. Nicole. You should go and see her." Nedley inform them. The two nodded and start walking towards their car and drive to the hospital.

"We are here for Nicole Haught." Micheal speak to the nurse receptionist.

"She is in the emergency room sir. You can wait at the waiting area."

"Okay, thank you!" They both sit down and wait, until the doctor comes out.

"Are you the parents of the patient?"

"Yes, doctor" Micheal respond since Kate is still in shock state.

"Well, Mr..."

"Haught. Micheal Haught"

"Mr. Haught, your daughter is out of danger, but she is still under observation. She suffered a leg injury, but not too severe. After 24 hrs we will transfer her to the regualr room so you can visit her."

"Thank you doctor." With that, the doctor left the couple.

"This is all her fault. This is all that sinner child's fault!" Kate said with full of hatred. Micheal take a sit beside his wife and hug her.

The day after, Nicole woke up feeling so weak. She saw her dad and mom at the left side of her bed sleeping.

"Mom...Dad." she tried to wake them up in her weak voice. Micheal stir in his sleep and heard her. When he looks at her anger quickly build up in his chest.

"Yo-you!..how dare you do this to us?" He acussed her quickly. Nicole is a smart girl, she knows what his dad is talking about.

"Da-dad..im..so..rry.." she begin and her eyes gets teary. She see the look of her father. Anger, pain and hatred.

"Sorry?..That's bullshit!..You killed your brother!" This time he shouted at her. Kate startle and woke up from her slumber and quickly look up to see his angry husband and crying daughter.

"N-nick..is..de-dead?" Nicole speaks. She is shocked to find out this news.

"Yes! And its all because of you!" Its Kate who responds. Quickly she move ahead her husband and hits nicole many times. Nicole shielded herself from all her mom's assault. 

"Mom...im..sorry..i..didnt..mean..it." nicole said while being hit by her mom. Micheal stands up from the chair and grab his wife and move her away from nicole.

"Honey, stop!" Micheal said to Kate who keeps struggling to get away from her husband grip.

"She killed him, micheal! She killed our son!" She said and burst out crying in her husband's shoulder as he hugs her.

"Shhh..i know...i know.."

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Sheriff Nedley comes in the room with two teenager following behind him.

"Oh..Nicole.." the younger one of the two new comer teenager approach the bed where she sees Nicole crying and her arms in a protective blocking stance.

"Im sorry..im sorry..im sorry..." nicole chanted like a mantra. She has no idea what is going on around her. All she sees is her mom hitting her and her dad shouting at her.

"Nedley, i think haughtpants here is having a panic attack." The other teenager speak up as she observe nicole in bed with her younger sibling trying to comfort the redhead nicole.

"Call the doctor, Wynonna. Go!" He instructed her and she quickly run outside the room.

After all the event at the hospital room, Randy Nedley told Mr. And Mrs. Haught to just leave Nicole in the hospital. The couple didnt argue with it and left their daughter. He escorted them and leave Nicole in the hands of the Earp sisters.

"Waverly, i think haughtpants dont like to eat that." The older earp said to her sibling who is holding the sliced apple near to Nicole's mouth.

"Okay..Nicole, if you need to talk with us..we are here for you" waverly put back the sliced apple on the small plate and grab nicole's hand to squeeze a bit to give her comfort.

"I..i want..i want to be alone." Nicole replied in a soft low voice. She is just staring at the ceiling the whole time since her parents left them.

"Nedley said we cant leav-"

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" Wynonna is being cut off by an angry Nicole who slap the small plate with the sliced apple on the bedside table of her reach. That caused it to shattered on the floor. The two sisters look shocked by what happened. A nurse suddenly comes in after hearing the noise.

"What is happening?"

"Please take them away. I dont want to see anyone!" Nicole told the nurse. The nurse oblidge and escorted the earp sister outside the room even if they are protesting to the nurse that they cant leave her alone. But of course the patients health is their priority.

"Im sorry, but you cant go inside her room now. The patient condition will worsen if she is being stressed. Its not good for her and her recovery. The nurse talked to the sister outside the room.

"Its okay. We will just stand by here outside." Waverly said and give the nurse a smile. When the nurse left, Wynonna tried to look at Nicole inside the room at the small glass window pane. Nicole is still looking up at the ceiling but his time, with tears in her eyes. Wynonna sighs.

"What should we do Wynonna?" Waverly asked her sister. Wynonna usher her sibling to sit on the chair with her.

"I honestly dont know what to do. Haughtpants is in so much pain." Wynonna said in defeat.

"Im sure Nicolas doesnt want to see her like this. We should think something to help her." Waverly added.

"We will, baby girl." Wynonna said and hug sideways her sibling to assure her that they will do something to help their friend recover.


	2. Burial

Nicole’s POV

I don’t know what date it is but one thing is for sure its my brother’s burial and I get discharge in the hospital. I don’t know how I will face my parents since that

day in the hospital where my mom almost wanted to kill me after finding out that Nico is dead. Waverly, Wynonna and Sheriff Nedley are always with me and never

left me alone while I am confined at the hospital. But even with their presence there I feel lost. The accident becomes my nightmare. Waverly who is my best friend

and girlfriend for 5 months has been giving me worried expression every time she hears me scream my brother’s name at night during my sleep and woke up

sweating so much and crying. She will always hug and soothes my back until I become calm and get back to sleep. I am thankful that she is there, but my heart is

really in pain and sorrow that I don’t know how to take it all away. My brother who is loving and caring is now dead. He left me here alone and scared. My parents

love him because he is the perfect child, he will become a lawyer just like our dad and continue his legacy as a great lawyer. He is not gay. He is not a rebel. He

follows my parents’ path so well and he obeys them at all times. But because he loves me too and wants me to be happy even in his own simple way, he agrees to

join me at the Highschool party with Wynonna and Waverly. He told me to never tell our parents so they won’t find out and we will just escape at the house quietly.

Everything goes well until we head home and our car crashed with the truck. Everything happened so fast that none of us become prepared for the impact or the

consequence of our action.

I never imagine that my simple request from my brother will turn out like this. This is all my fault; I killed my own brother. I am the reason why he is now in the

casket and will be in a while burry in this place called cemetery. I don’t know why I can’t have my own happiness? Is this my punishment for being like this? Is this

your way of telling me that being myself is wrong and unacceptable? But why take my brother if its me who has sinned you? Why put the punishment on them?

Why not me? Why didn’t you just killed me and let my brother lived?

_“We will never forgive you for this. Remember that. From now on, you are not part of the family.”_ I heard my mom speak, but I never looked at her. My eyes are only

focused on the casket being covered by soil after they finished it bringing down. Losing my brother means losing myself too. He is the only one who I rely on.

He never judges me even when I come out to him first.

_“Mrs. Haught, with all due respect. Please stop talking like that to your own daughter. It was all accident. No one wants that to happen.”_ Now its Waverly’s voice.

I don’t want to pay attention to them. All I want is to be alone with Nico.

_“Please..Leave me here alone. I want to be alone.”_ I told to no one, but I hope they all understand my request.

_“Nicole…”_

_“Haught..”_ I heard both Wynonna and Waverly speak at the same time as I hear footsteps walking away from where I am standing. It’s probably my parents.

_“Please..Just leave me alone..I can take care of myself.”_ I said firmly without looking at them.

_“Okay, if that’s what you really want..We will wait for yo-”_

_“No. Don’t wait for me. I can go home alone. I know where I live.”_ I stopped Waverly from speaking. I don’t need them. All I need is be with my brother.

I heard them let a long sigh before stepping away from me. Now I am alone with Nico.

_“Nick, why?”_ as if the dead will response to me. I am trying to stand a bit longer but my injured leg is aching.

So, I removed the crutch at my left side and slump down at the spot where I stand.

_“You are so unfair. You said that you will never leave me alone. You promised me that since we are kids. Why now?”_ I ask while looking straight to the now fully

covered hole where they buried my brother. My eyes start to water again. I though all my tears have been drained because I’ve been crying since day 1 at the

hospital, but it’s not.

_“What will I do now? Mom and Dad are so angry, mad and hated me. I am so scared.”_ I really am scared. I don’t know how to continue living without him beside me.

_“Please help me..”_ I hope he is hearing my plea. I really need him and his strength. Just like that, rain starts to pour. I lean down and hugs the ground.

The soil becomes mud because of the rain and it’s getting on my face and the heavy rain start to drench my clothes. I don’t give a damn thing.

I don’t know how long I have been there, when I hear a soft angelic voice called my name and I noticed that the rain drops isn’t hitting me at all.

_“Nicole..”_ I look up and found a teary-eyed Waverly. Her eyes are red for sure because of crying, I just don’t know whom she is crying for.

_“Waverly…”_ I call her name and again break down as I hug her leg for somewhat or somehow a support. Support because the sorrow I feel inside is too much.

I feel like a sore loser. She slowly kneels and hugs me properly. The two of us hugs while the rain continues to pour heavily.  
  
_“I won’t say it’s okay. All I want to say is that I am here.”_ She whispers into my ear as she hugs me tight. That made me hug her tighter like my life depends on her.

I don’t feel the chill of the air. It’s all because of Waverly’s warmth and that is the last thing I remember before my consciousness blacks out.

Waverly’s POV

When Nicole passed out at the cemetery, we quickly bring her at the homestead. Wynonna and Nedley helped me with her. Once she’s inside my room and lay down

in my bed, I quickly remove all her wet clothes. We both have seen each other naked because we already did the thing. Yes, I mean sex. Nicole is my 1st and I really

hope my last. I went to the bathroom for a basin with water and clean cloth to wipe and clean her before I get her dressed. I honestly don’t see myself falling from

other than her. I can see my future with her. During those 5 months, we are so much in love and can’t get over with each other. Nicolas and Nicole are so close

because they are twins, but Nick has been Nicole’s constant defender to their parents. He protects her so much. He is also very supportive. I remember during our

1st date Nick helped Nicole to prepare a romantic surprise for me. The four of us become so close since childhood. Now that he is gone, we all felt the lost, but we

know its Nicole who is in so much pain right now. It hurts me to see her like this. She is so lost. Whenever I look at her eyes, all I see is sadness and sorrow.

I want to take those away to help her, but whenever I try or us try, she blocks us and say she is okay and she don’t want to be pitied on. During her nightmares, all I

can do is hug and sooth her back to calm her. She never talks about it. Actually, she rarely talks since the accident. She always wants to be alone.

Earlier when we all saw her break down as the rain falls heavy my heart couldn’t take it. It’s like my feet automatically drags me to where she is and offer my

comfort. When she calls my name, my heart broke into pieces. That’s the only time she I hear her say my name after that accident. Her voice is so broken and sad.

I don’t really know if hugging her will somehow lessen the pain she feels inside. But I hope it has an effect to her.

> _Nico, wherever you are please help us. I know you don’t like to see her suffer like this. I know you love her so much and we love her too. Give us all _
> 
> _strength to cope up with this pain and loss._

My finger brushed to Nicole’s cheek as I finished cleaning and changed her into new set of dry clean clothes so she could sleep well.

_“Nicole..baby..I know your hurting right now..I am here for you always.”_ I let the tears flow from my eyes as I look at her sleeping form.

She looks peaceful right now.

_“We can survive all this, baby..”_ I slowly lean down and gave her a peck on the lips.

_“Goodnight, baby”_ I said before I stand and bring the basin with dirty water on it and the cloth with me to the bathroom. After I place it there and change for

sleeping clothes, I go back to the bed and lay down beside her and made myself the big spoon for her as she pushes her face into the crook of my neck.

I thought I wake her, but its not.

_“Sleep well baby. Goodnight.”_ I last say before I fall into a deep slumber while hugging her.


End file.
